Tuesday, January 6, 2015

My Avalanche & Stop Gun Deaths

It has been a very long time since I posted a blog. I've started a few but never quite finished them and they were pushed aside and grew a bit dusty while they sat on the shelf here in cyberspace. Since it is a cold and snowy day here I thought it was a good time to do some cleanup and finish up with some thoughts that have been rattling around my head.
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My Avalanche

There are things that you do that will change your life forever but you don't know that when you're doing them. It is only in hindsight that you can see a pebble has caused an avalanche that forever alters your life.

A couple of years ago I was newly retired. I had been spending a lot of time reading and one afternoon I wrote an author a fan letter. That was the pebble that began a change that would alter my life forever. As a result of that fan letter that author made me a part of a wonderful community of women she had on facebook. As a part of that group I acknowledged to others, for the first time, that I was a lesbian. It was a freeing moment. The pebble had grown to a small snowball.

One day while checking things out in that author's group I struck up a chat with a woman on the other side of the world and we began to message each other and we came to be friends. It was easy to chat and laugh and we began to exchange the stories of our lives and the small snowball became the size of a softball.

Feelings that had long been buried came to the surface and after reading an article in the paper one Sunday morning I could no longer contain my emotions and the secret I had been living with for decades burst forth. I finally admitted that I was a lesbian to my youngest sister. The rest of the family and most of my friends soon followed. The softball was now the size of a soccer ball.

My online friend encouraged me to reach out to other lesbians and become part of the community. Friends on facebook assured me that life would only get better and, if I went looking for it, that love could find me. I joined a couple of dating sites and events are now up to the size of a basketball.

Things were really good and life was looking up. I was meeting members of my facebook community in real life and horizons were expanding. I had my reading, I was doing a little bit of writing and I was a happy camper. Every once in a while there was a nibble on one of the dating sites but nothing ever progressed beyond a couple of emails. That at least was the case until mid 2013. The basketball sized snowball was building up momentum and was now the size of a very large boulder and heading downhill at an alarming rate.

That Monday in May when I received a message from someone at Match.com I didn't have any expectations. I didn't want to seem too anxious so I waited a day to reply and we soon began a regular correspondence. Of course being as cautious as I tend to be it took a couple of weeks before we even began to talk by phone and then another month before we met face to face. It was our first face to face and "in person" date when the avalanche hit. I haven't been quite the same since.

The fact that I have fallen irrevocably in love with a wonderful woman at this stage of my life is amazing to me. As amazing as being hit by an avalanche in the middle of a Philadelphia summer. I never expected it even though I hoped for it. I wanted to know what "being in love" was like and I have been granted the great, good fortune of finding that out. The fact that she feels the same about me is icing on the cake or the cherry on the top of the ice cream sundae of life. It simply doesn't get much better than it is right now.

I realize that I'm a very fortunate and blessed woman. I simply hope that whenever your avalanche strikes that you're ready for it and welcome it with open arms. It might be the best thing that ever happens to you.

p.s. My Avalanche is named Rusty and she is an absolutely wonderful and amazing woman.



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My Thoughts on Guns

This is something that has been on my mind for a long time but it was brought to the forefront with the report of a woman being killed by her two year old in a Wal-Mart store last week. I know that the NRA has a slogan that says "Guns don't kill people. People kill People." and to me that is simply bull!

After all the school shootings that this country has endured, after all the senseless deaths that we read about every day, when are we going to say "ENOUGH"? There will always be a criminal element in this country who will want guns for their illegal purposes but it was not their weaponry that killed those students at Virginia Tech or the children at Sandy Hook. Those were weapons that were legally purchased. What we need to do is to make it harder for those on the edge to access weapons.

When you purchase a car you need to prove that you are insured. Why can't we force gun owners to do the same? Make them prove that their weapons have trigger locks and are kept in a space that would be very difficult for a child or a thief to access. Why can't we proscribe the sale of automatic weapons that were designed for military use? I'm not saying that responsible gun owners should be made to give up their pistols or hunting rifles but seriously, why does any private citizen need to own an Uzi or an AK-47?

I know that buying insurance may not seem like a lot, but if reputable gun dealers were made to check that someone purchasing their goods had the proper paperwork and insurance necessary to own a gun then things would have to get better. If you don't think so then you need to think about the insurance you need when you purchase a car. You must have liability insurance in every state in the country. While some folks get away without it, for most of us there is money to pay for damages and medical needs when there is a serious accident. If you can do it with a car you can do it with a gun.

I know that there are holes that would need to be worked out but I figure that if you are a responsible gun owner you would welcome any step that would allow you your gun and work to keep guns out of the hands of the sick and irresponsible. You also need to remember that a lot of the safety features on the automobiles we drive today are as a result of the insurance industry. It wasn't the auto companies that got seat belts in your cars, it was the insurance companies. The same goes for airbags, safety glass, and anti-theft systems. Imagine what they could do with trigger locks and safety boxes.

If you have a better idea to curb the violence I urge you to contact your representatives at both the state and local level. Maybe one of those ideas will spark something that could save a life.



In 2015 gun deaths are expected to outpace traffic fatalities. Check it out.         http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2012-12-19/american-gun-deaths-to-exceed-traffic-fatalities-by-2015.html


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Well, that's it for now. I wish each and everyone who reads this a wonderful and happy 2015.




3 comments:

  1. Excellent blog with two very relevant stories. I am thrilled by your happiness and stirred by your passion. Congrats MAF!

    Barrett

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  2. What a wonderful blog post. I read it out loud to Jill, both of us grinning in recognition. Love is all around.

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  3. I am in agreement with you on the gun thing. This should not just get a pass cause it has been common now it is essential. Just as we must have car insurance ect... Thanks for a thoughtful and wonderful blog. So happy for you and Rusty

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