My sister has been having a hard time lately finding shoes that will help her get through the day with as little discomfort as possible. She suffers from fibromyalgia and does childcare so she spends most of the day on the go and in pain.
You would think that with all the different shoe companies around that make walking or shoes for all kind of specialized activities it would be easier. It's not. The main problem lies with size.
Now you need to understand that the women in my family have big feet. I wear a women's size twelve and my sisters a ten and a half and a ten respectively. The manufacturers of women's shoes stop half sizing at size ten. Did you know that? Did you know that women who wear larger than a size ten pay more for their shoes than our sisters with smaller feet?
Forget really high fashion styles. I'm talking your normal athletic footwear. We used to call them sneakers but they're so much more than that these days. If you can find sizes over 10 you might pay $5 to $10 more for them. Hush Puppies is a very popular brand and finding anything over an eleven for a woman is difficult. Very difficult if on top of having big feet lengthwise you also have wide feet. It becomes impossible. I was just checking out Rockports and their women's shoes go to 11's but men go to size 16. For the longest time I bought men's shoes from them. You can't tell me that they have machinery that can make a man's but not a woman's shoe.
We women are crazy that we allow shoe companies to walk all over us (pun intended). If your feet are narrow you pay more. If you wear a very popular size you pay more. If you wear a large size you pay more. If you want a well made dress shoe you not only pay more you are talked into wearing shoes that can cause injury to your back or ankles just because they might be stylish. Would any man worth his salt be talked into wearing shoes that elevate his height 5 inches so his legs and butt would look better?
Ah well that is my rant for today. I hope you all have a good night and a good day tomorrow and that you think about this blog the next time you buy a pair of shoes..
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Rudeness at a Funeral
Every once in a while you meet someone who has so little regard for you or your feelings that you can simply turn your back on them and walk away without getting angry or upset because you know that they are not worth the energy those feelings would create. Recently I was with some people like that and I just have to get it off my chest.
Last week my siblings and I went to Williamsburg to lay to rest my mother's youngest brother. He was a great guy who loved his family and he had lived a long and (except for the last six months or so) a wonderful life.
My Uncle took accelerated courses in high school so he would be able to serve in the Navy during WWII. The war ended while he was in boot camp so he spent four years stateside as a medical corpsman. When his enlistment was over he found a job in sales and loved it and was a salesman for his entire professional life.
My Uncle married and had 3 children; a son and two daughters. He considered being a father his best and greatest accomplishment. His first marriage failed for a number of reasons and he remarried and was very happy. His wife had two daughters that he adopted when they were adults.
This was a man who worked longer than necessary to provide for him and his wife an idyllic retirement. They lived in a lovely and exclusive community in Williamsburg and by anyone's definition lived the "good life".
In the last six months his health failed and the health of his wife is also not what it should be. (Let me interject here that my Uncle and his wife were both 83 years old.) Her daughters seemingly began making all the big decisions regarding his health care and finances. My uncle, when he was lucid, was not very happy with how things were going but because of his failing health was unable to do anything to make the situation better. My cousins, his son and 2 daughters, did everything they were able to do to make things better for their father but they live 350 miles and 6 hours away and were stymied at every turn.
Now when "steps" are involved it has always been my practice to take things with a 'grain of salt' figuring that not everything is as black and white as they seem. These women and their blatant rudeness have certainly opened my eyes where they are concerned.
When I went into the wake the other night and I was ignored I gave 'S' the benefit of the doubt when I said hello and she ignored me. I explained who I was and she told me that she knew who I was and then continued to ignore me as did her younger sister. This was no great loss to me. They are not a part of my life and I don't need them to validate my existence.
The thing that has my blood boiling was that they ignored my other Uncle. The 85 year old who was burying his little brother. These two women ignored him and did not say one word of condolence to the man even though they rode to and from the cemetery in the same car. They whispered in the back seat of the limo and ignored his presence when they could. When my Uncle wanted to give a eulogy at the graveside they did that eye roll thing that we all know too well. My Uncle may not have seen that but one of my siblings did. My Uncle was able to make his farewell remarks despite them.
My mother and her brothers were orphaned at very young ages. They had only themselves. After their mother passed away they were sent off to boarding school. At the time my mother was 13 and her brothers were 7 and 5. They lost their father 7 years later. Because of the gap in their ages my mother was not able to spend as much time as she would have liked with her brothers. They were on their own for their years in school with only each other to count on.
When my Dad died 35 years ago my uncles both stepped up and played greater roles in the lives of me and my siblings. When my Mom passed away 19 years ago they were both devastated by her loss. To loose my Uncle was difficult for me but what it must have meant to his surviving brother is almost incomprehensible.
My cousins have lost their Father and I know how that feels but loosing a parent is something that you expect in the course of life. What you don't expect is the rudeness of the people who say they are sharing that grief with you,
Someday in the not too distant future these two women will be mourning their mother. I hope when that happens the people around them have more concern for their feelings than they have shown to others this past week.
Last week my siblings and I went to Williamsburg to lay to rest my mother's youngest brother. He was a great guy who loved his family and he had lived a long and (except for the last six months or so) a wonderful life.
My Uncle took accelerated courses in high school so he would be able to serve in the Navy during WWII. The war ended while he was in boot camp so he spent four years stateside as a medical corpsman. When his enlistment was over he found a job in sales and loved it and was a salesman for his entire professional life.
My Uncle married and had 3 children; a son and two daughters. He considered being a father his best and greatest accomplishment. His first marriage failed for a number of reasons and he remarried and was very happy. His wife had two daughters that he adopted when they were adults.
This was a man who worked longer than necessary to provide for him and his wife an idyllic retirement. They lived in a lovely and exclusive community in Williamsburg and by anyone's definition lived the "good life".
In the last six months his health failed and the health of his wife is also not what it should be. (Let me interject here that my Uncle and his wife were both 83 years old.) Her daughters seemingly began making all the big decisions regarding his health care and finances. My uncle, when he was lucid, was not very happy with how things were going but because of his failing health was unable to do anything to make the situation better. My cousins, his son and 2 daughters, did everything they were able to do to make things better for their father but they live 350 miles and 6 hours away and were stymied at every turn.
Now when "steps" are involved it has always been my practice to take things with a 'grain of salt' figuring that not everything is as black and white as they seem. These women and their blatant rudeness have certainly opened my eyes where they are concerned.
When I went into the wake the other night and I was ignored I gave 'S' the benefit of the doubt when I said hello and she ignored me. I explained who I was and she told me that she knew who I was and then continued to ignore me as did her younger sister. This was no great loss to me. They are not a part of my life and I don't need them to validate my existence.
The thing that has my blood boiling was that they ignored my other Uncle. The 85 year old who was burying his little brother. These two women ignored him and did not say one word of condolence to the man even though they rode to and from the cemetery in the same car. They whispered in the back seat of the limo and ignored his presence when they could. When my Uncle wanted to give a eulogy at the graveside they did that eye roll thing that we all know too well. My Uncle may not have seen that but one of my siblings did. My Uncle was able to make his farewell remarks despite them.
My mother and her brothers were orphaned at very young ages. They had only themselves. After their mother passed away they were sent off to boarding school. At the time my mother was 13 and her brothers were 7 and 5. They lost their father 7 years later. Because of the gap in their ages my mother was not able to spend as much time as she would have liked with her brothers. They were on their own for their years in school with only each other to count on.
When my Dad died 35 years ago my uncles both stepped up and played greater roles in the lives of me and my siblings. When my Mom passed away 19 years ago they were both devastated by her loss. To loose my Uncle was difficult for me but what it must have meant to his surviving brother is almost incomprehensible.
My cousins have lost their Father and I know how that feels but loosing a parent is something that you expect in the course of life. What you don't expect is the rudeness of the people who say they are sharing that grief with you,
Someday in the not too distant future these two women will be mourning their mother. I hope when that happens the people around them have more concern for their feelings than they have shown to others this past week.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Watching TV
I was born in 1948 and don't remember a time when there was not a TV in my home. It has been a constant in my life. The TV was tuned to the Today Show when I was getting ready for school in the mornings and we watched soap operas when we came home for lunch. I learned how to do homework while watching TV. When I turned 13 I was allowed to stay up to watch the shows that came on at 10:00 pm. (The trick with that was I had to be able to get up on time the next morning or I couldn't stay up for a few nights.)
Now you should understand that my parents were night owls. My father was a bartender who didn't get home from work until after 2:00 am. My mother had been a nurse before she got married and was very used to staying up and getting by on not a lot of sleep. And with no husband around at night the TV and telephone were my mother's friends.
I can remember before starting grade school that if I woke up before my mother went to bed she would let me come downstairs with her and we would bake muffins (from a box mix) and watch the late movie on our local station. Ed McMahon (pre Johnny Carson) was the local announcer who would introduce the movie and do commercials. Once the movie was over so was the broadcast day and the station would play the national anthem and go to a test pattern.
I remember a lot of trivia about TV. I remember "Winky Dink" where you had a film that went over your screen so you could crayon on it as part of the program. I remember Miss Frances and "Ding Dong School". I remember 15 minute soap operas at lunchtime and I remember it being a big deal when they went to 30 minutes and then 60 minutes. I remember the reason I wanted to stay up late was to watch Vince Edwards as "Ben Casey". I loved Richard Chamberlin as "Dr. Kildare". I remember a series called "Circus Boy" with Mickey Dolenz (who later became famous as a Monkee). I remember a news report about a fire at Lady of the Angels school in Chicago (and the fire drills we had in school after it happened). I remember Arthur Godfrey, Dennis Day and Queen for a Day. I remember the Cuban Missile Crisis and Peyton Place and a presidents assassination.
The thing is I remember a lot of TV's past but a lot of what I see now barely leaves a ripple in my consciousness. Back then we had 3 channels and it seemed like there was always something worth watching. Now we have more than a hundred channels to choose from and most of the time there isn't a lot to choose from. A cousin of mine wrote today the he had spent an enjoyable hour watching reruns of "The Rifleman". It was a boyhood favorite of his and he really had a good time watching it. So with cable he was paying to watch a show that was more than 50 years old that cost him nothing to watch when it was new.
My problem is not with cable. My problem with TV today is the lack of imagination in programming. We are inundated with cheap reality TV. Really..."The Bachelor"? They couldn't come up with something better? I remember "The Defenders" and "East Side West Side" and "Naked City". Surely there are talented writers out there who can come up with a plot line and script. That would put actors and grips and studios back to work on something that the public will watch.
We are the public. If we don't watch what the networks put on they will be forced to come up with something new. Let the programmers know that ""We're mad as hell and we're not going to take it any more".
If all else fails turn on some music and read a book. Your imagination can cast anyone you want in the lead role and you can go to a library and borrow a book about anything that interests you for nothing.
Don't watch what you don't enjoy just to fill up time.
Bye for now!
Now you should understand that my parents were night owls. My father was a bartender who didn't get home from work until after 2:00 am. My mother had been a nurse before she got married and was very used to staying up and getting by on not a lot of sleep. And with no husband around at night the TV and telephone were my mother's friends.
I can remember before starting grade school that if I woke up before my mother went to bed she would let me come downstairs with her and we would bake muffins (from a box mix) and watch the late movie on our local station. Ed McMahon (pre Johnny Carson) was the local announcer who would introduce the movie and do commercials. Once the movie was over so was the broadcast day and the station would play the national anthem and go to a test pattern.
I remember a lot of trivia about TV. I remember "Winky Dink" where you had a film that went over your screen so you could crayon on it as part of the program. I remember Miss Frances and "Ding Dong School". I remember 15 minute soap operas at lunchtime and I remember it being a big deal when they went to 30 minutes and then 60 minutes. I remember the reason I wanted to stay up late was to watch Vince Edwards as "Ben Casey". I loved Richard Chamberlin as "Dr. Kildare". I remember a series called "Circus Boy" with Mickey Dolenz (who later became famous as a Monkee). I remember a news report about a fire at Lady of the Angels school in Chicago (and the fire drills we had in school after it happened). I remember Arthur Godfrey, Dennis Day and Queen for a Day. I remember the Cuban Missile Crisis and Peyton Place and a presidents assassination.
The thing is I remember a lot of TV's past but a lot of what I see now barely leaves a ripple in my consciousness. Back then we had 3 channels and it seemed like there was always something worth watching. Now we have more than a hundred channels to choose from and most of the time there isn't a lot to choose from. A cousin of mine wrote today the he had spent an enjoyable hour watching reruns of "The Rifleman". It was a boyhood favorite of his and he really had a good time watching it. So with cable he was paying to watch a show that was more than 50 years old that cost him nothing to watch when it was new.
My problem is not with cable. My problem with TV today is the lack of imagination in programming. We are inundated with cheap reality TV. Really..."The Bachelor"? They couldn't come up with something better? I remember "The Defenders" and "East Side West Side" and "Naked City". Surely there are talented writers out there who can come up with a plot line and script. That would put actors and grips and studios back to work on something that the public will watch.
We are the public. If we don't watch what the networks put on they will be forced to come up with something new. Let the programmers know that ""We're mad as hell and we're not going to take it any more".
If all else fails turn on some music and read a book. Your imagination can cast anyone you want in the lead role and you can go to a library and borrow a book about anything that interests you for nothing.
Don't watch what you don't enjoy just to fill up time.
Bye for now!
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
What can you live without?
Last night, for some reason, I was thinking about a survey group I participated in a number of years ago. It was one of those instances where you walk into a mall and someone comes up and asks if you have a few minutes to answer some questions. Well it turned out to be a bit more involved and I wound up returning to that mall for 2 or 3 weeks to answer questions and watch videos. The question we eventually focused on was if we could give up music for 30 days. A few of the participants initially said yes but then we were asked if we could do it over the Christmas Holidays. Not one out of the dozen or so of us taking part would agree to that; even when they offered to pay us.
So thinking of that made me think...is there anything in my life I could do without for 30 days? There is a lot more to choose from now than there was back then. Could I leave my cell phone behind? No, there might be an emergency where it is needed. Computer? TV? CD's? iPod? Microwave? Kindle? Nook?
I guess that if I absolutely had to do without I could handle a month without everything mentioned above. I wouldn't want to but I could. I could live with out a computer because they still do print newspapers. There would still be radios for music and movies and plays for entertainment. I could use my regular old land line phone to keep in touch with my friends & family. The stove and oven still work so I wouldn't starve. As for books...they are still printed and available in brick and mortar stores and libraries.
The thing is that all those things that we could live without do make our lives pleasant. My grandmother lived without all those things (well she did have a TV for the last 40 years of her life) and she would think that all these things were absolutely frivolous. But I can only think that popping a meal in a microwave to heat it up would have been easier on her than having to heat up leftovers on the stove or in the oven. My mother would have adored cell phones and computers. I love being in touch with people via facebook. I touch base with people from my past and I meet new people who bring light and laughter into my life.
So think about what you would give up for 30 days. What would the impact on your life be? And here is something else to consider...most of the things I've mentioned living without have only come into our lives in the last 25 years or less. Can you imagine what might be on that list 25 years from now?
So thinking of that made me think...is there anything in my life I could do without for 30 days? There is a lot more to choose from now than there was back then. Could I leave my cell phone behind? No, there might be an emergency where it is needed. Computer? TV? CD's? iPod? Microwave? Kindle? Nook?
I guess that if I absolutely had to do without I could handle a month without everything mentioned above. I wouldn't want to but I could. I could live with out a computer because they still do print newspapers. There would still be radios for music and movies and plays for entertainment. I could use my regular old land line phone to keep in touch with my friends & family. The stove and oven still work so I wouldn't starve. As for books...they are still printed and available in brick and mortar stores and libraries.
The thing is that all those things that we could live without do make our lives pleasant. My grandmother lived without all those things (well she did have a TV for the last 40 years of her life) and she would think that all these things were absolutely frivolous. But I can only think that popping a meal in a microwave to heat it up would have been easier on her than having to heat up leftovers on the stove or in the oven. My mother would have adored cell phones and computers. I love being in touch with people via facebook. I touch base with people from my past and I meet new people who bring light and laughter into my life.
So think about what you would give up for 30 days. What would the impact on your life be? And here is something else to consider...most of the things I've mentioned living without have only come into our lives in the last 25 years or less. Can you imagine what might be on that list 25 years from now?
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Pens and Stuff
A few years ago I gifted my sister with a really nice ball point pen. I had one at work that I loved and decided to buy a bunch to give to family for Christmas. Since they had a company logo on them and they were sold from the company store they were quite reasonable for the quality. Well the pen has finally gone dry and needed to be refilled. When called and asked what kind of refill was needed I responded promptly "Parker T-ball Jotter". When my sister told me she was standing in front of a refill display at Staples and there was nothing labeled T-ball Jotter. I had to dash over to Amazon so I could tell her what the modern equivalent would be.
I should pause here to let you know that I worked in a stationary store for a couple of years after high school. I love walking through stationary stores the way some people like walking through hardware stores or book shops.
Well the search for refills prompted me to look at Amazon for similar things that were a part of my youth. Things like fountain pens and stationary. Fountain pens were not hard to find but I was amazed that there is such a thing as disposable fountain pens and that a good Waterman Pen could cost $100. A nice Parker was anywhere form $24 to $100 and a bottle of ink is shown as costing $10.
Using a fountain pen was mandatory while I was in 7th and 8th grade and I spent many a day with ink stained fingers and clothes. Ink cost less than a dollar a bottle and it would last for months. The only colors the nuns would allow were blue or blue/black. Peacock blue ink was much too showy for the Sisters of Saint Joseph back in the day. I was not allowed the use of a ball point pen for schoolwork until I started high school in the fall of '62.
So, once I finished shaking my head in disbelief at writing instruments I thought I'd look for letter writing stationary. I can't remember the last time I wrote an honest to goodness real letter. I still have half used boxes of stationary that I was saving for special occasions that are probably 30 years old.
When I was in my 20's I wrote letters to friends and relatives 2 or more times a week. My brother was in the Navy and away from home and I had friends who moved away from Philadelphia. Long distance calls were not an option because of the expense so letter writing was the thing to do. I would get onionskin paper for air-mail because it would cost less to send. I went through tablets of paper and boxes of envelopes for a few years.
Emails, facebook and blogs have replaced putting pen to paper. Makes you wonder how we will be communicating 20 years from now.
Ah well, I've rambled enough for now.
Take care all.
I should pause here to let you know that I worked in a stationary store for a couple of years after high school. I love walking through stationary stores the way some people like walking through hardware stores or book shops.
Well the search for refills prompted me to look at Amazon for similar things that were a part of my youth. Things like fountain pens and stationary. Fountain pens were not hard to find but I was amazed that there is such a thing as disposable fountain pens and that a good Waterman Pen could cost $100. A nice Parker was anywhere form $24 to $100 and a bottle of ink is shown as costing $10.
Using a fountain pen was mandatory while I was in 7th and 8th grade and I spent many a day with ink stained fingers and clothes. Ink cost less than a dollar a bottle and it would last for months. The only colors the nuns would allow were blue or blue/black. Peacock blue ink was much too showy for the Sisters of Saint Joseph back in the day. I was not allowed the use of a ball point pen for schoolwork until I started high school in the fall of '62.
So, once I finished shaking my head in disbelief at writing instruments I thought I'd look for letter writing stationary. I can't remember the last time I wrote an honest to goodness real letter. I still have half used boxes of stationary that I was saving for special occasions that are probably 30 years old.
When I was in my 20's I wrote letters to friends and relatives 2 or more times a week. My brother was in the Navy and away from home and I had friends who moved away from Philadelphia. Long distance calls were not an option because of the expense so letter writing was the thing to do. I would get onionskin paper for air-mail because it would cost less to send. I went through tablets of paper and boxes of envelopes for a few years.
Emails, facebook and blogs have replaced putting pen to paper. Makes you wonder how we will be communicating 20 years from now.
Ah well, I've rambled enough for now.
Take care all.
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