Just about me....

I've been thinking for a while what this next piece should be about and it has to be about what has been happening with me recently. 

After many years of fear and worry and a lot of denial things hit a critical point for me recently and I came out as a lesbian to my closest family and friends. Now I'm coming out to anyone who may take the time to read this blog. 

I recently wrote the following to a niece and nephew:

There are things in this life that we all have problems dealing with. The biggest thing I have had a problem with is that when I was in my forties I came to realize and accept the fact that I am a lesbian.  I think it was something I always knew on some level but that I was afraid to know on another.  I know that is a very contradictory statement but that’s how it goes.

I can remember the first book I read with a gay character and I can remember distinctly the first time I heard the word lesbian. There was something about being a female and homosexual that resonated inside me. It just took me forever to figure it out and admit it.

My youngest sister told me she had known for years and was simply waiting for me to say something. My other sister hugged me and told me she loved me. My brother did not hesitate to tell me he loved me and wanted me to be happy. The friends I told could not fathom why I was afraid to tell them. Every single person who has been told has offered nothing but love and support.

This revelation had been building for years.

It was the friendship I found in an on-line group that brought me to the point where I could no longer hide who I am. The support, humor and example of these wonderful women have been invaluable to me. I feel blessed to have become acquainted with them.

Coming out has been a positive experience for me. I no longer worry that I’ll say or do something that would cause someone to question me or look askance. The fear I woke up with each morning and fell asleep with each night is no longer present.

If reading this causes you to think less of me, well that’s your problem, not mine.

I still like movies, books and trivia. I still love my family and friends.

I will be the me I have always been….but happier.

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And now a couple of Quotes: 

No matter how far in or out of the closet you are, you still have a next step.  ~Author Unknown

Straight Americans need... an education of the heart and soul.  They must understand - to begin with - how it can feel to spend years denying your own deepest truths, to sit silently through classes, meals, and church services while people you love toss off remarks that brutalize your soul.  ~Bruce Bawer